{"id":161,"date":"2008-06-15T22:47:47","date_gmt":"2008-06-16T04:47:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.chezadria.com\/?p=357"},"modified":"2008-06-15T22:47:47","modified_gmt":"2008-06-16T04:47:47","slug":"i-do-not-recognize-this-child","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.liftingupserenity.org\/blog\/2008\/06\/15\/i-do-not-recognize-this-child\/","title":{"rendered":"I do not recognize this child."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I pace the floor, reminded of the days I did this with a newborn.\u00a0 This time around she isn&#8217;t folded up against my chest, everything right with the world.\u00a0 Instead she is kicking and screaming, and I am holding her tiny hands to keep her from clawing her face and pulling out clumps of hair.\u00a0 Sometimes I let her scratch me, hoping it gives her some sense of satisfaction, one thing she is able to control.<\/p>\n<p>I don&#8217;t know why she is screaming; I wonder if she does.\u00a0 Her shrill shriek breaks my heart into a million pieces, the same way this cancer shattered our lives.<\/p>\n<div class=\"feedflare\">\n<a href=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~f\/chezadria\/hmle?a=zqfogI\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~f\/chezadria\/hmle?i=zqfogI\" border=\"0\"><\/img><\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~f\/chezadria\/hmle?a=kbUEJi\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~f\/chezadria\/hmle?i=kbUEJi\" border=\"0\"><\/img><\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~f\/chezadria\/hmle?a=STadxi\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~f\/chezadria\/hmle?i=STadxi\" border=\"0\"><\/img><\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~f\/chezadria\/hmle?a=n9tVwi\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~f\/chezadria\/hmle?i=n9tVwi\" border=\"0\"><\/img><\/a> <a href=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~f\/chezadria\/hmle?a=e4kX6i\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/feeds.feedburner.com\/~f\/chezadria\/hmle?i=e4kX6i\" border=\"0\"><\/img><\/a>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I pace the floor, reminded of the days I did this with a newborn.\u00a0 This time around she isn&#8217;t folded up against my chest, everything right with the world.\u00a0 Instead she is kicking and screaming, and I am holding her tiny hands to keep her from clawing her face and pulling out clumps of hair.\u00a0 [&#8230;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,6],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.liftingupserenity.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/161"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.liftingupserenity.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.liftingupserenity.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.liftingupserenity.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.liftingupserenity.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=161"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.liftingupserenity.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/161\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.liftingupserenity.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=161"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.liftingupserenity.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=161"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.liftingupserenity.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=161"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}