{"id":150,"date":"2008-06-03T11:43:04","date_gmt":"2008-06-03T17:43:04","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.chezadria.com\/?p=346"},"modified":"2008-06-03T11:43:04","modified_gmt":"2008-06-03T17:43:04","slug":"today-im-angry","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.liftingupserenity.org\/blog\/2008\/06\/03\/today-im-angry\/","title":{"rendered":"Today I\u2019m angry."},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

I know all about the stages of grief, yet somehow I expected some of them to pass me by. What point is there in bargaining, or denial, or getting angry?<\/p>\n

This morning a neighbor took the younger kids for a few hours to play, and I spent some time downloading photos to my laptop. It was a bad idea, because seeing all the photographs has allowed me to be really angry. I look at our faces when life was normal, when no one had cancer, and when my biggest worry was how to keep my kids from bickering. And I wonder why didn’t we appreciate it just a little bit more? And I wonder why did this happen to us? And I wonder whether we will ever feel like regular people again.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I think that life will always be divided into Before and After. Before I felt so overwhelmed, so helpless & frustrated. And I wondered when life would be full of joy and not trials. I never dreamed we would learn the language of cancer and chemotherapy. I worried about how to pay the water bill; I didn’t worry that one of my children would die.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

When I look at those pictures from the past few years, I’m really angry that I had no sense of what life had in store for us.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\n<\/img><\/a> <\/img><\/a> <\/img><\/a> <\/img><\/a> <\/img><\/a>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\nI know all about the stages of grief, yet somehow I expected some of them to pass me by. What point is there in bargaining, or denial, or getting angry?
\nThis morning a neighbor took the younger kids for a few hours to play, and I spent some time downloading photos to my laptop. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,6],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.liftingupserenity.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/150"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.liftingupserenity.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.liftingupserenity.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.liftingupserenity.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.liftingupserenity.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=150"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/www.liftingupserenity.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/150\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.liftingupserenity.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=150"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.liftingupserenity.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=150"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.liftingupserenity.org\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=150"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}